Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Miracle of Miracles! I am writing.


Hello! For the first time in about three years, I think, I'm writing a story larger than a single page. It's fiction-not-so-much. It's based in a fictional land, but suffice to say I won't be able to use the disclaimer "Any similitude with persons alive or dead is mere coincidence." There is a dragon in the story and that dragon is NOT so me (cheek in tongue).

I had not written anything in years now (story wise) because I just lost the love for it. I think I could have stepped on my passion because it was damaged beyond repair. Nothing appealed me. The quail was broken and the ink got dry. Suddenly a friend came and offered an "innocent" (or maybe not so much) prompt. My dwarves say they think they saw a devilish grin on my friend's face when he suggested I could write during my vacation in the Caribbean. I don't know. The only thing I know is that his "innocent" prompt sparkled something in this dragon's head. The ninja muse stopped drooling over the Captain Ninja's poster, to pick up the gauntlet thrown. She thought the prompt was interesting enough, I guess. As I said, she had been interested in nothing but sitting on her tiny butt, bothering dwarves and eating popcorn.

I just wanted to humor my ninja muse and said friend. I didn't intent to actually sit down and write anything larger than a Word page. I'm shocked at how much I've written in such a short time (almost 11 pages). It's just pouring out of me to the point I wish I could forget about chores and school so I could just write until I get all "this" out of me. I do like what I am writing but it freaks me out. It has freaked me out since page one. It is not just a writing exercise. It's become a catharsis. I am finding things about myself I wasn't expecting. There is an 99.9% of chances this story never sees the light so I am not insecure about people not liking it. Dragons are not strippers and this thing is stripping my soul to my eyes.

But that's precisely where my insecurity comes from. Introspection, to have our inner being revealed to us is never a nice exercise, as useful as it may result. It's scary because I fear the possibility that revealing hidden sides of me would be like standing in front of Dorian Gray's picture. And that it might be as ugly as in Dorian Gray's case. Then again, if we are not brave enough to face such ugliness, we'll never know what is that we have to correct, repair, erase or accept. Therefore, it will never improve. It will stay ugly and distorted forever.

Even though I am convinced I should thank my friend for his "innocent" prompt, because I'm sure only positive things will come out of this exercise in the end (whenever that end comes); I am still blaming him for the freaking out time I take to finish this story!

Dragon Hugs!

This post is part of the Insecure Writers Support Group, created by Alex J. Cavanaugh. You can also find IWSG on Facebook - Critique Group.

15 comments:

  1. Hugs right back at you!
    Awesome how a prompt can get the muse jumping. So happy you're back in the writing game. Enjoy the process! and do share, soon!
    Happy IWSG day!

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  2. Glad she stopped drooling over the picture long enough to get you going.
    Writing is like baring a part of us. Good thing we get to choose which parts.

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  3. I am so pleased to hear that your muse is playing again. So very pleased.

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  4. Keep writing!

    We do bare our soul when we write. All five of my books touched upon personal issues. But it was very therapeutic. I hope you find the same release.

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  5. Yay! Write on, Dragon. :)

    IWSG #119 until Alex culls the list again

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  6. I've been doing a certain amount of introspection lately too, and freaking out at what I uncover. Never easy, but seems like a project you need to tackle. Good luck with the prompt. And, try to have fun with it too :)

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  7. So glad to hear you're writing again. I feel you on those fears. I'm afraid to put too much emotion in my writing, in more ways than one, but if I don't, the writing won't be as good as it should. Sigh. Catch 22, anyone?

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  8. Hmm..interesting that you have found your voice and desire to write. Sometimes it is hard to wear our hearts on our sleeves. It leaves us a bit vulnerable, but the writing can be amazing and perhaps, it is good to find a bit of one's self. I am sure it will be amazing..how could it not if it is written by a dragon..just sayin'

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  9. Hi Father Dragon - that's such good news ... and keep writing those story words down ... I hope the pages will fly by. I'm glad the muse has reappeared ... keep well, keep mused up and enjoy this new journey .. cheers Hilary

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  10. A hug and a toast to you, and to all of us, who are willing to dig through the rock and mud to find those nuggets of gold. It takes great courage to face our fears, our frailties, and our faults (those dreaded F words) and to keep going in spite of them!

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  11. Good for you, Dragon! I hope the words keep coming and fears fall away. Thank you for being my friend always. I love you and everyone in the Fellowship more than I can ever say. ((((HUGS))))

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  12. Yay for the return of the writing! I'm glad you've found passion in your current project. I hope the inspiration stays with you, if you so have the desire, and may it lift you to new unexplored heights.

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  13. If there's anything more inspiring than a vacation in the Caribbean I'd like to know what it is. I feel the same way about painting since I haven't done it in years, but still have the love. Maybe I'll break out the paint cans tonight. Congrats and hug Al Dragonman

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  14. You just needed some time in the cave to preen those scales and contemplate your treasure--your trove of writing ideas. Now you're ready and I hope you find the words come easily.

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  15. Congrats! That's gotta feel good.

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